Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
you sent me the whole alphabet, one letter a text. it took 15 minutes to read them all
96 perecent sure i just took a shower with socks
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
No more tipping the bathroom attendant with your phone.
So i learned you can't hair-of-a-dog jaeger hangovers.
Is it rude if I ask the current tenets of our future apartment if I can come and blackout for a night? I want stupendously drunk me to get a feel for the place so he's comfortable when we move in.
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
That's the 3rd time I've gone home with her and she passed out on me. I poured 6 boxes of cereal on her and left
In other news, the one guy I DIDN'T have sex with in High School is now famous.
At the bar in my pajamas again
Ummm that is the 3rd time this week and it is Wednesday
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
You better have a raging boner when I get to your house and it better be worth missing work in the morning.
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