cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
Pizza is the life boat of my drunk Titanic
You kept telling me to "raw dog" your take home breathalyzer without the mouthpiece
i wanna pet his head its so fluffy. were gonna open a petting zoo
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
Best part: she drunkenly told me I'm dangerous then slurred to my parents that I should watch out in case I fall in love with her. Then she mounted a pinata
Because of his penis, I can't even look at a hot dog
He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
Jesus christ it's been two texts and we are already talking about dildos
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
We're at the liquor store. Then going to the hospital
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
I just found vampire teeth and a moustache in my purse. do you know why?
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
Remember the Giant sandworm from the movie Dune? Well that's about how big his dick is. No bulshit.
Randomize