5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
I bought a nasal spray, my nose needs to be in order by the weekend
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
new rule: cockblock me if I have had over a fifth of jack. no matter what.
i've never seen someone face fit so perfectly in a toilet bowl
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
Apparently I blacked out and pissed all over the sliding glass door from the inside, as everyone watched from the outside helplessly....
Just received a visit from the Ghost of Bad Decisions Past. Kind of weird 90% of the flashbacks happened in the same sixteen month span, the rest happened at Taco Bell.
One of my friends took me out last night for a bday celebration and I just now remembered that a man blew fire balls across the bar in honor of my birthday... How drunk do you have to be to forget that?
I'm a gay man planning my brothers bachelor party, and he choose someone else to be his best man. I hope they like appltinis and gay clubs. Bastard.
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
My dad just said "fuck circus"
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
The house across the street caught on fire today, Drunk people high centered their car tonight. Looking out my front window I get to watch police chases all the time. I am going to miss this place.
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
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