im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
So I answered the door in my underwear expecting my boyfriend. Instead I opened the door to Mormon missionaries. Do you think that was a sign from God?
Scratch that. Lia's boy toy's brother has a gorilla costume. This is gonna be great.
you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
Meet me at the corner of "what the fuck" and"how'd you get in my bed" in 10 minutes.
Is it sad that i just saw my moms thumb on the table & i instinctively put mine down cuz i thought she was thumbmaster?
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
Noo not in a booty call way, in a 'How are your abs and penis doing today?' sort of way.
why does every cop we meet know your name?
Today I saw someone riding a horse on the sidewalk by aldi when I went to walmart. Old town road was playing on the radio. It was perfect.
That married penis I’ve been riding offered to pay off my student loans. I was going to break it off because he has lousy stamina. Is being debt free worth putting up with mediocre sex?
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