I would never have sex with Danny Devito!! JSYK.
i wanted to sleep on a waterbed so i filled up my bathtub so i could fall asleep in it...
Just woke up on a dolphin floaty wearing only a party hat. There's blood on the side of the pool and glass in the sauna. Worst fucking hangover. But some guy said he is making crepes so its ok
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
I want him to rain dance my fallopian tubes.
we are blowing up condoms and making balloons and we’re drunk on the floor. You could have come to school here
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
Nothing quite like walking through a spider web on your way back in from smoking to fuck up a perfectly good high.
I slept naked with a towel wrapped around my waist in case I pissed the bed again
Now we just need to figure out why your underwear was in your bra
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
Sitting in a music store. There is a 40 something year old guy in a track suit, with a boner, and playing the ukelelie quite intensely.
thanks for thinking of me.
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
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