Kris Allen: Jason Mraz mixed with John Mayer and a splash of orgasmmm
do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
He could be your dad!
We discussed that right before he asked for my number
Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
I worked with a girl tonight that recognized me solely from a keg stand she witnessed me do sophmore year. Needless to say this made my night
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
I just found a bag of teeth...
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
He took the bartender's challenge and took a Jello shot with a tarantula frozen inside.
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
I'd like to be surprised that there's a picture of someone pouring champagne in my boobs on Instagram, but I can't.
I hate when I wake up and find my vibrator next to me. Such a waste of an orgasm...getting myself off in my sleep and not remembering
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
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