dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
There is something just so refreshing and wonderful about an uninterrupted morning poop in the office.
God is so good, I would give him a blow job right now.
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
why is my clorox wipe dispenser full of tortillas?
Note to self: never do anything I don't want to explain to a paramedic
There is a full size piano in the middle of our road. Please tell me you had nothing to do with this.
I just heard "I just let you finger me on Megabus, I clearly don't have standards".
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
You know how hard it is to drive a dirtbike down a road with 2 plants of weed on your lap. Fucking hard
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
Hey does the gas gauge in your car work?
Nevermind...we figured it out. Heres a more relevant question, does your insurance have roadside assistance?
Dude come over...were drunk and I'm holding a T-shirt gun and discovered beer cans are the same size as rolled shirts.
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
Randomize
