I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
just when i thought things couldnt get worse, the batteries died in my vibrator.
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
My niece just threw up all over me. My sister's breastmilk was on my face. This is like a fucked-up porno gone terribly wrong.
his penis was the training wheels of my sex life
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
A little light bondage fun never hurt anybody (erotic asphyxiation excluded). Car batteries attached to reproductive organs have.
Gas station champagne. And before you say anything I'll have you know it's imported. From California. So get fucked.
She's like the sister I never had that I want to bang.
After he finished he laid there and told me how much work that just was. I looked at him and told him not to ruin a good thing by opening his mouth.
Philosophical question for you: is it better to go into work slightly drunk or slightly coked out?
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
Three cheers for handling my crush on my boss in an entirely reasonable manner, by having a threesome with my coworkers.
Randomize
