went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
This ain't no lie cnn says sonny n cher's dtr chastity is going to have sex reassignment surgery to become a man named chaz
Not surprised. I always thought Cher was a very passable post op transexual.
then I woke up and felt a boner that wasn't even mine. never taking 3am vodka again
sober me hid the cigs from drunk me. sober me is a tricky bitch.
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
They tried to convince me I broke Alex's nose. Also they stranded me on the roof.
That's what they get for locking a drunk laxer in Mitch's car.
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
Wait, whatever happened to locking our vaginas in closets?
I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
I woke up on a boat next to an extremely attractive man wearing nothing but a life jacket. Neither one of us owns a boat...
Last night I got drunk on margaritas at an Irish pub and came home with only one shoe. I have to get my shit together.
You really know how to show Monday who's boss.
Oh god...Did I just fuck a sugar granddaddy?!
HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT
So I just ran in to the Couger you saw me take home last month who i haven't talked to since then at Wawa and she was PISSED.. APPARENTLY i fucked her niece last week
You know that tattoo place next to Dallas? The naked sexy frog on my neck is proof that their "won't tattoo if drunk" sign is bullshit!
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