she called me screaming that i shouldn't ignore her phone calls, because she's not trying to get me to hang out with her and she doesn't want to be my girlfriend, she just wants sex.
what did you do?
i asked her out. that's so hot.
How are you going to pay for strippers in Vegas when you were just begging for McDoubles?
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
I think I just tested my sobriety limits for unicycling.
You just kept walking around saying "my brain is soup" then sat on the kitchen counter washing your feet. You bit the guy that tried to help you down
I want to throw all of their shoes in the pool so I feel like there is some justice in the world
You kept saying we got to find the end of the rainbow, which turned out to be a box of lucky charms and Guinness in the bag of cereal
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
I need to mount that unicorn and turn him into a full blown steed.
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
I need water and some morals
I just made my dating life into my own game show. would you like to meet the contestants? (photos not included)
Don't worry about us we're making Mac and cheese
MAC AND CHEESE ABORTED, WE HAD FIRE
its as if im in a choose your own adventure book. except im not the reader and someone else is choosing my fate...one awesome decision at a time.
Randomize
