I got my half for the rent already.I called the cops on the drug dealer neighbor and got a 500 bucks as a reward
the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
I'm customer of the month for a 3rd time now at the Wine store. I've achieved so much in my life
come in to starbucks and ill make you a 4loko latte before theyre banned
You tried to convince me you were sober by doing jumping jacks. For an hour.
Everyone looked at me like I just fucked a gopher and was wearing it like a hat
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
I'll always remember you bringing me that pregnancy test in the middle of an ice storm. Best friend ever.
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
A stripper just invited me to her daughter's birthday. Where did my life go wrong?
Best sex of my life. But I think it's because I like his apartment. Really nice bed sheets. High vaulted ceilings. I wanted to lay there forever.
You're getting old. Was it located in a nice school district for your future offspring?
I have a bandage in my ass crack. In. My. Ass. Crack.
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
Randomize
