I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
At this point I feel like i'm never going to be sober, and it's frightening
I ended up staying at a police station for being a witness in a public masturbation case..NOW do you believe me that I've never had a good St. Patrick's Day?
you almost dropped the shot glass then you thought you were such a hard ass for catching it that you slammed it on the table and broke it
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
I knew I was rolling hard when I realized I had been rubbing the couch for an hour
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
Yeah..I guess you know your hair looks like shit when TSA asks to inspect it
You know I love you. I just don't love your penis.
you wouldn't let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled "BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT" and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore
it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10
Are you sexting with minion stickers right now?
I stole an accordion from the bar
Accidentally
I'm having ragrets about stealing the accordion
Yeah, but i got vodka and bacon out of it, so it's fine.
Randomize
