Just ran to the store on my way to the office to buy Diet Coke...the guy in front of me let me cut because it was 4 more minutes until 8am, so he wouldn't be able to purchase his vodka. I love Wisconsin
This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
Nothing says "get your life together" better than waking up in a tub full of your own vomit. Twice. In one night.
Nope we're in the ER. He lit himself on fire trying to impress another girl with magic tricks.
I like the odds of his and my children being professional athletes too. To support me in my old age, see I do think about the future.
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
Dude. When are you coming home? I'm laying in bed watching the Grinch and trying to pet a cat that I'm not even sure exists.
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
Bring me that man meat
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
Sexting gets boring after a while. I'm eating a sandwich right now and googling 'sexting ideas' and just copy/pasting lines.
It's a good sandwich though.
Randomize
