I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
If Ritalin and Plan B had an illegitimate child it would smell like me.
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
He's like the houdini of condoms. I never even realized he put one on before we fucked. he's magical.
i woke up with a wedding ring drawn on my finger...if this was vegas id be worried
I knew it would be an interesting night when he showed up at my house on a scooter wearing a six foot american flag as a cape.
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
I know it basically makes me the worst feminist ever, but I don't want to kill my own spiders. And I will pay my personal spider hit man with sammiches and unlimited , uninhibited access to my vagina.
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
I'm pretty sure I just need an IV drip of Plan B at this point...
oh god I've lost the ability to distinguish between 'star trek' and 'the future'
And anyway at least being paid in opium makes a cool story
Matched with the lumberjack. Here's your wedding invite.
Jus had a dream that I borrowed bob dylans car to save us from a pack of raptors. Pretty stoked about it.
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