people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
Sooo, drunk me had the sense of mind to write down everything that happened last night.....I bet you thought you'd get away with what you did to my parrot.
She cut off the top of a watermelon and is now eating it with a spoon. She's more than half done.
The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
Hey do you want me to wrap up that Jack in the Box you left in my gutter
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
He stopped replying so I told him I got tested and it came back positive for chlamydia to see if he replied. His phone magically works again!
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
Sorry about all of the penis things that happened last night.
And then I told him since the day he walked away to get over what I went through he lost the boyfriend right to ask why my bed is broken.
I take full pride in being the one that broke ur bed. Want to go for the sofa?
If it's any consolation, I made really strong brownies yesterday and had 3 and then I saw demons
So what did you do since you didn't go out?
...ate chocolate and watched bring it on....it's like I don't even know what it would look like to be straight.
I mean you can one up her. Instead of ruining friendships you can ruin marriages.
I tired using vodka to remove my makeup
Noooo no no no no. She scares me. She means business. She wore a diaper when we went to the bar.
Randomize
