I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
I just turned in a 4 page paper spelling absolute as "absolut" every single time. I'm an alcoholic
A 300 lb dude in a sundress yelling bible verses while wearing a raggedy anne wig is just as funny as I thought it would be. Thank you san francisco.
We need you. We already made it on global news and are drunk at the election party.
Ive made peace with the fact that i will accomplish nothing except liver damage today
That does it. We're drinking til we're pirates.
On another note, I feel like my vagina is slowly being peeled off with a rusty potato peeler.
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
I never thought I would have to arrest my own parents on a sunday night
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
I showed him my machete and then we made out in the kitchen
I know it's going to be a good day because he didn't notice the bite mark on my butt.
whatcha doing?
lying in bed pretending to be a slug
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
I'm dancing with a sandwich I just made cause I'm so happy how delicious it tastes, that high haha
Randomize
