I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
I just had a formal request to dress as a boyscout for my meeting with Legal on Friday. From Legal. Time to go home.
There is a pube in my fucking eyeball
Meanwhile I am sitting on the couch with a 32 ounce rum and coke trying to decide if I'm too drunk to go get french fries.
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
how sketchy is it to eat a candy wrapped in masking tape from reggae night? because we totally just split it...
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
This hurricane was the perfect excuse to buy 2 pounds of animal crackers and a case of beer. It's on Sandy.
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
Good night I hope you dream about knitting and threesomes
Let's be real. I'm the Usain Bolt of running away after hookups. Fastest (wo)man alive.
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
ps why does my dog smell like popcorn and a dryer sheet..?
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
Randomize
