I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
I'm single ladies-ing it in my kitchen alone. after I just made an intense new breakup cd and before I drown my sorrows by marinating alone in my jacuzzi later. I cant tell if this is a new low or a new high
question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
I just saw a woman point to her daughter and scream at her husband THIS IS YOUR GENES, THIS IS YOU.
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
do you know how scary it is to wake up in a CATSCAN machine after a night of drinking?
So you actually don't remember giving head to the Neil Armstrong statue last night?
You were rubbing sand all over yourself and everyone else and claiming you were "EXFOLIATING."
Is percocet and coffee considered a balanced breakfast?
You call it a hangover, I call it a baby squirrel burrowing its way out of my head.
Cause I'll toss Tabasco sauce in his eyes and yell "Cobra attack" and walk away
Good friends go out of their way to crop dust your ex not once but twice. I knew we were friends for a reason
We were literally making dick jokes with his dick out
That’s the level of friends with benefits I aspire to achieve
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
Randomize
