Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
saw a man at the beach in a red speedo. when he rolled over he unintentionally displayed a HUGE skid mark.
I think I can smell my own vagina right now
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
We've already decided our costumes for next Halloween. She's going as Cookie Monster and I'm going as Elmo. She's just going to ask for Oatmeal Cookie shots, and I'm asking for Red-Headed Slut shots.
Dude, its January.
We're going to do the voices too.
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
But life is now good. Well, not good, good would be not wearing the penis hat with the extended family of the boy I just cheated on, but as good as it's going to get today
Ran into his mom at the bar, i told her "i know he's married now but I'd still do him"
I'd like to stay optimistic, but I have this nagging suspicion my penis is in for a disappointing holiday weekend.
Your topless pictures make me question reality
You know you're getting old when 19 year olds you've met on tinder advise you that you should start looking for a wife and/or the mother of your children
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
So my step mom just informed me she tells stories about me at work as a form of birth control for the girls that work there, not sure if i should be offended or proud.
She walked up to me and whispered "I hope you're good at sex" and led me to the beach.
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
Randomize
