Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
what part of covering your puke with shaving cream seemed like a good idea?
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
Well, McDonalds 'escorted' me out after I passed out mid-order
I was fingering her, she was moaning, and we were singing Mulan
Can I color on your dick again?
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
I told this guy in the dining hall that he's a hippie god and he's never made eating yogurt so sexy
Yeah. Got a major ego boost when she said she felt like she had just fucked King Arthur. Buying some donuts later to celebrate with, wanna join?
I just got dropped off by that cop that pulled you over. Best sex ever! Consider that $140 ticket my birthday present.
He literally had a Trump sign in his front yard. I just can't now.
There's a Japanese guy here dressed as a Viking who just screamed "wats up cocksluts" and kicked a guy in the face. come get me out of here.
I think it's your fault my nipples aren't sensitive anymore.
I'm with jana at walgreens picking out penis rings.... Did you know they sell vibrators at walgreens? Wtf?
Randomize
