im so horny i just used my electric toothbrush to masturbate. god help me
Any day that starts with a call from my ex-bf... crying... is a good day.
Sitting at a bar next to a guy wearing sunglasses drinking a pitcher by himself and having an argument with himself over if journey is more ballin than kiss. Feel better about myself.
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
He told me I had nice tits + they have a great shape. + then proceeded to flatten my boob + show me what the gross tits he's seen look like.
From the guy that lifted you into a fan I'm sorry
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
Had sex on your trumpet just an fyi.
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
Randomize
