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• (212): View more from New York

  ok so I'm texting you now like I promised instead of drunktexting aaron and telling him how badly I want his cock tonight. aren't you proud?

  (1-212): View more from New York

  this is Aaron, hi

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• (202): View more from Washington, DC

  My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!

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• (248): View more from Michigan

  Note to self: do not take so many shots that you sit on the floor under the bar where nobody can see you, and reach out and grab peoples crotch.

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• (360): View more from Washington

  Tomorrow night wont work for me. I'm talking with Bryan about marriage and I dont want to have a shroom hangover.

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• (716): View more from New York

  I convinced every single one of my cousins to bring me a glass of wine. I was the alcoholic queen and they were my subjects.

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• (630): View more from Illinois

  How the fuck you gonna play love don't cost a thing in a strip club?

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• (315): View more from New York

  It was only funny because some guy across the street was getting his mail and he just stopped and watched me throw up everywhere

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• (651): View more from Minnesota

  Come to my pity party. It's being hosted in my basement. The theme is ambiguously sexual cuddling and wine.

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• (402): View more from Nebraska

  I had a really bad dream about us drinking this weekend. Remind me to tell you Friday when we start drinking

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• (814): View more from Pennsylvania

  Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings

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• (925): View more from California

  Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha

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• (505): View more from New Mexico

  The only person more miserably hungover from the party is the dog, and that's because he ate some balloons

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• (219): View more from Indiana

  I gave him a HANDJOB.

  (219): View more from Indiana

  But then he finished from a handjob in under two minutes so who's really laughing?

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• (218): View more from Minnesota

  I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.

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• (801): View more from Utah

  I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story

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