DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
You came in at two thirty, wearing your underwear and a tie then asked where you could find a sombrero and a pair of stilletos that would fit your men's size thirteen feet.
I wish you could buy pregnancy test at the liquor store, it's the only place I feel comfortable being a disgrace because I know they understand why it happened...
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
This is the minute she broke up with me. If you're receiving this mass text, you are one for the girls who made me promise to text you at this point.
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
I'm gonna give the beer pong table a viking pyre funeral at the bon fire.
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
Yeah but sometimes your vagina needs to be fed and when we are drunk we tend to eat junk food
You weren't stupid you just made an ass of yourself. It's called a birthday party. That's code for night of regrets.
You know the bunny onesie you sent me? Happy Halloween, I just did the hop of shame.
Ok, you agree to the terms? We can have sex, but this doesn't mean we're back together...it just means we're working on things. Got it? Sign here.
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
Randomize
