doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
bitch so ugly she owes me an erection
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
You said you were going inside to sober up and then you poured yourself a wine glass of warm gin
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
I couldn't sleep so I took 4 shots of vodka and promptly threw up in the sink. Happy Thursday
I was mid-sentence and you stopped me and said, "Yeah.. for my vaginas sake, I'm gonna need you to stop talking right now."
When she sees your dick for the first time, tell her it glows blue when orcs are close
After the 3rd time his brother walked in on us I asked "Does he ever knock?" his reply "This is his room"... Turns out he didn't even live there... I feel like a hoe.
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
I was super proud of him for making a mature relationship decision, and then I remembered that he cheated on her. With me.
Are cops allowed to hit on you if they're in uniform?! Serious question.
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
You literally asked him, “Do you come here often? Do you want to visit my vagina?” With no hesitation
OH GOD IT TASTES LIKE IT SMELLS
Randomize
