We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
It is 8 o'clock in the morning and there is already blood all over one of the stalls in the bathroom. What has your St. Patrick's day done for you?
She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
Police were closing down the bar due to gunfight and I was crying because they wouldn't let me finish putting temporary shamrock tats on my boobs
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
OMG. Hung over at my grandparents house. Threw up on 3 T-stops, countless snowbanks, and the grandparents driveway. Was proposed to last night. Bruised from head to toe from falling down 3 flights of stairs. Debating my intelligence because it seems that "happy new years" is too hard for me to spell. How were your new years festivities?
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
Sitting on the toilet ... Eatin pizza with one hand, petting my cat with the other. I love a sad drunken life
I better get weekly incoherent text messages or I will assume something is wrong.
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
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