Goodnight my chunky, little, marshmallow muncher
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
Just got convinced to trip sit for a pack of cigarettes and a burrito. Let the games begin
He is currently tell his hat to go free. Like he has it sitting on the table just waiting for it to take off. When he's not looking I'm gonna throw it off the balcony and tell him it's flying
I feel like I have heartburn in my nipples.
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
On my way to get pizza I followed a dog into Salvation Army where I was just hired
I'm pretty sure I imagined the dog... They still hired me
The guy who's car I hit last night just followed me on Twitter...not sure how to feel about it.
I don't care how hot she was, she wouldn't stop singing "Shut Up and Dance", instant boner-killer.
He couldn't undo my bra. He ended up breaking the clasp he clawed at it so long. We met on Tinder for God sake
i just woke up on the desk in his dorm with him snoring in my vagina. better than last week waking up to a different guy puking on my bare ass i guess.
Randomize
