Goodnight my chunky, little, marshmallow muncher
I was thinking about baking his mom "sorry you found out i was sleeping with your son" cupcakes
You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
On the bright side since it was a Tuesday you weren't even in jail for the long! that could've been worse!
The fact that its 530pm and I'm saying to myself I should sober up since I'm at a family establishment should say enough
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
Malibu has added tequila to its rum. It's like when two beautiful gaybies come together an spawn a unicorn that only cries jellybean tears.
He's not actually Jewish. Turns out he just wears the yarmulke to cover his bald spot.
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
You're swimming in an imaginary pool of pudding. What do you think?
Randomize
