If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
my mom is pro-life. I dare you to fuck me.
he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
U know u have sex too much when u have lube in ur rolliball on ur blackberry
She was crying and singing Taylor Swift on repeat. I'm never drinking with her again.
the paramedic just looked at me like "you again?"
I feel like letting the same guy who shot him dig the pellet out of his leg with a pocket knife was the bigger mistake
I'm basically just sitting in the porta poTty finishing my bottle of champagne bc I am too lazy to carry it back to the tailgate
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
With each thrust he'd whisper "like a ninja." Should I be flattered or appalled?
I think the night went to shit after he started sweating and crying about a taco he dropped on the ground 3 years ago. No more blind dates
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