I put my bosses number in my phone as "Do not call," I shouldve known my drunk curiosity would overcome any desire I had to keep my job.
again?
No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
Just asked my dog if he was proud of me for making it home. That drunk.
thank you for reminding me that I stumbled into a public place drunk at 9am wearing a chicks pants.
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
He says he invented a new sex move called The Redbird that we can only do when I'm on my period. Should I be concerned?
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
I just have to point out that once I typed "fa" my phone filled in "fatass"
HE WAS SUPPOSED TO BE THE TROPHY HUSBAND! I WAS GOING TO BE THE SUCCESSFUL ONE!
Based on my calculations, I should be blackout by approximately 11:14pm and that's when I need you to take my phone away from me. Mkay?
I DEMAND FORESKIN
Randomize
