Just saw a man being put through a dui test on the side of the road... it was noon and he was on a bicycle. God bless texas.
I wish Facebook had filters like: Ivy League school, frat boy, straight, extremely wealthy, great in bed.. I would check all of them
getting your period on valentines day is like an extra little fuck you, now you REALLY have no chance of sex tonight.
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
You texted me 'I am the leopard prince', with a series of pictures of you posing in what seemed like cat poses. you were not "a little bit" drunk dude..
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
Do I go to spinning class and try to redeem myself from going drunk, or do I wait a week and hope they forget I fell of the bike?
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
Randomize
