these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
Someone sent me a drink from across the bar. It was water.
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
Day 8 of being sober: Sniffed an empty beer bottle at a restaurent and almost licked it. This is not working
as it turns out, there is no "i was in the pool" excuse for adderall-induced shrinkage.
Did you pluck my eyebrows one night when I passed out?
He stole a bottle of grenadine from the bar. And got arrested. His new cell mate is going to love his bright red lips.
those kids just got delivered to the party by the pizza guy
Either you got hacked or we need to have a serious discussion about sending penis enlargement emails to your straight friends and why you shouldn't. It sends the wrong message.
Get off me. I'm done. I want a cookie.
I hate how much more visible my vomit is on snow, I need a winter vomit bush
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
Can you repeat that, but with context?
All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in
Stop letting me drink alone on saturdays. My last 2 google searches were "short legs" and "caterpillar eyebrows" ? I don't even know.
Randomize
