oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
we're doing shots for every degree below freezing it is outside
Sacagawea was the original milf.
She got mad when I told her I'd bone her mom. She got MORE mad when her mom heard, and was flattered by it. Proud to say I attract MILFS.
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
Tonight that bitch will not be with him. You will drunkingly talk him out of this wedding. It is your duty as the one with the least amount of soul. Good luck.
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
Slow dancing with the chandelier.
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
The cab driver gave me a church card yesterday and said I should reconnect with god.
Then he gave me 2 tickets to a movie he's going to be in
You left something at the house but since I'm back home now so I can just mail it over. Address?
I didn't realize you could put dignity in a box these days.
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
I just watched your sister pour half a bottle of cotton candy flavored snow cone syrup into a bottle of marshmallow flavored vodka, take a swig, frown, and pour a cherry coke in.
Just wait until she offers you a "powerita"
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
Randomize
