So I'm banging this nun...
Isn't that how all good stories start? I like it already...
He's gotten way too comfortable around me. He came into the bathroom and took a shit while I was in the shower.
Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
Remember the time we were horrifically hung over, went to mcdonalds, an you merely felt the weight of the mcnuggets box and knew there was an extra?
like it was yesterday
explain the broken jalepenos in my underwear drawer?
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
Just had ice cream and a blow job come together in one glorious, defining moment.
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
Wait, I'm confused. I EMPTIED the bottle? as in consumed it? I'm impressed with myself.
He may have been a dick but he DID give me his Netflix log in. Maybe some good did come of it.
I think I just sharted jello shots
He just took off his shirt. I'll text you later.
Randomize
