What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
If you can't find your cat in the morning it's cause i put him in the laundry basket and then put the laundry basket in the shower.
I don't know what I wash first. My body or my puke painted car. People are judging me as I drive by.
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.
We fed him just...so many bright colored crayons when he was blacked out. I hope he looks at his shits because this could be all for nothing
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
There's no way you didn't at least start out with a dick. I obviously know there isn't one now, but there is no way that you were born a girl
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
Well I'm sorry I assumed you were a human and that humans have the capability to forget sometimes.
My Uber driver last night was driving a taxi and tried to charge me fare.
You didn't get in your Uber because your ex was driving, that was a legitimate taxi.
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
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