he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
I just realized I'm not towing a trailer. I thought this whole drive home I was towing a trailer. Wow too high
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
I'm with the hottest fuckin fire fighter right now. I'm ready to fake my own death.
Hey texans ride hard. He should have known what he was in for when I asked to sit on his face. The broken nose was a BADGE he just earned.
Oh were you the stripper at that club last Sunday when i was trippin on acid wearing a giraffe outfit?
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
Oh my lord it is too early in the morning to be that horny freak
my vagina doesn't wear a watch
How is it medically possible for my urine to smell like espresso
He fed me jello shota while i was sitting on the toilet and then he peed in the shower
Looks like I accidentally stole two of your beers and left my pants at your place.
How did you leave without pants?
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