Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
Literally getting boned by my flask right now. I didn't really think about this whole sneaking past security in a skin tight dress.
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
There's weed in my toothpaste. Explain.
You put on some guys Birkenstocks that were abandoned on the dance floor overtop of your flats. Then ran out of the bar high gives the bouncer and said "look at my new kicks" then he was like woah wait a minute someone is missing those and made you return them. You were very upset
No biggie, just trying to keep my liver function in the green
Nooo. I was entirely happy pretending that my vagina only existed for peeing and releasing Satan's waterfall.
Randomize
