He is such a slut. More and more my type.
Firetruck pulls up, fireman jumps out n knocks on my door, asks "do you know where Johnny lives?"
You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
When you're opening a bottle of tequila with a golf club, it's probably time to stop drinking...
I learned an important lesson last night: Jameson giveth, but Jameson also taketh away.
Cruelly.
We have six bottles of wine and we are at target buying baby oil to grease up the sleds with, just in case you're interested.
Watching elf, eating a tub of ice cream, and coming to terms with the fact that I haven't had sex in 5 months. Happy fucking holidays.
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
YOU GAVE HIM A BLOWJOB ON YOUR DOORSTEP?!
apparently when she asked me how drunk I was on a scale of 1-10, I answered "bitch I'm fabulous" and tried to do a sassy hairflip. but I have short hair.
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
Shit is getting real. I just adjusted my search radius for my dating profile to ANY FUCKING WHERE
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
I told him I hooked up with his best friend. And then he ate me out. I'm just THAT GOOD.
Randomize
