I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
foreplay: 7 minutes. sex: 3 minutes. cuddling: 10 minutes. getting dressed: 5 minutes. commute: 5 minutes.
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
Putting the night light in my bathroom cabinet was the best idea ever. Awesome for puking while light sensitive
i've learned that i'm good at stealing things. like live cats.
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
He may or may not be blacked out. We put him to sleep in the community bathroom. He's wrapped in your blanket and he's already puked on it twice. Using your blanket was my idea. Maybe next time you'll ask before taking my vodka.
A kind stripper put a blanket over me last night
She was so morning drunk she asked the lady at brueggers for a bandaid and my self respect back
His dick is longer than my foot and I'm a size 9. I'm literally kicking myself in the vagina
I met this girl the other day and found out her boyfriend is a helicopter pilot. How the fuck do you compete with that.
I'm sooo hungover. I fell asleep on top of a car in a parking lot last night. New one to add to the list.
Wait, whatever happened to locking our vaginas in closets?
Dude, you can't drink while watching Star Trek. You hardly understand it sober.
It's an alien shaped cup though. i think that'll help me absorb.
Randomize
