YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
you're putting all your eggs in a very hungover basket
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
I'm leaving my hospital band on when we go drinking tonight. I'm aiming for pity sex.
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
i just figured out how to balance my wine bottle on my boobs so that i don't have to tip it with my hands...breathing has new meaning
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
He couldn't stand on his own, but he managed to somehow to get to the beer garden and get served 3 more. I'm proud to call him my cousin.
Sorry, they don't make maternity Power Ranger suits...
In his defense he just bought a bong like a week ago so he's still in that honeymoon phase.
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
You just accidentally called me. You kept saying "Really?! Really?!!" So I can only assume you are having sub par sex
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
If he knew how badly I want to blow him he’d stop talking about his wife
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