Say something about gay babies.
Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
The girl with a dislocated arm just did an assisted keg stand. You will never have an excuse again.
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
Some Russian dude just came up to us and I'm pretty sure he offered his girlfriend to have sex for 80 bucks. Whoever said porn movies were unrealistic.
Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
He asked me what I wanted the cake to say and I then asked him if "I'm sorry for throwing up in your bed last night" was too long. He said it was...
THEIR PENISES MATCH. I JUST REALISED THAT. THEY HAVE IDENTICAL DICKS. OH GOD.
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
lost my vibrator and now I have to masturbate manually. The struggle is fucking real.
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
She asked me if I could do that to her every single time. I said nope. sometimes it's better.
Randomize
