Ask me how many people I've slept with. Because its changed since I last saw you.
I saw you 20 MINUTES AGO. You need to stop this.
how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
Nothing says fuck you quite like putting your used condom in someones mailbox for them to find in the morning.
Yeah sketchy neighborhood.. Some woman ran by screaming, "i didn't steal anything" as some cops rolled up and arrested her.
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
I'm not sure...it could be the pasta I ate from her sink, the dominoes, or just the alcohol. Or a wicked combination of all 3.
Apparently, "please don't I have to be in court tomorrow" is not a valid excuse for a girl to abstain from giving a massive hickey.
Excuse me while I download incredibly disturbing porn until I'm more ashamed of myself than of my country.
Omg you can't vacuum salsa that's just ridiculous
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
We drunkenly built a couch fort and fucked in it. I've known her since preschool. This was every childhood fantasy mixed with adult dreams come true.
I drank so much that my feet don't feel like my feet
Calm down I'm not kidnapping the bartender
Being high is definitely not the perfect addition to this family dinner. No. My grandma trips me the fuck out.
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