Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
seriously my hangover is so bad I feel like my eye lashes make blinking a workout
Passive mediator is your role in this relationship. My role is dick punching arsonist
he said something along the lines of "fish can smell fear"
So... Sorry I threw that watermelon at you the other day. I didn't think it would break any bones.
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
Jen gave my number to some guy she met in NY. He sent me a picture of his weiner. He had nice shoes. I replied with a pic of bacon.
When in doubt always reply with bacon.
He kept stopping sex to whisper in my ear, and the only thing I could understand was "double stuffed oreos"
I'm not sure whom I'm texting but I put you in my phone as last nights fuck budy, and I'm just curious if I left my clutch with you?
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
Randomize
