At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
Apparently I covered myself in sunscreen before I went to bed. Im just assuming that due to the fact I found an empty bottle of sunblock
The chips are stabbing my teeth, and I can feel the muscle under my mouth contracting.
You crossed every boundary on the boundary spectrum last night. You're like the illegal immigrant of drunk actions. No more holiday drinking for you.
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
Well, after a pitcher of beer, I set my ex on fire. It was a little fire, he's fine. How's your night?
i'm high and self actualising, please send help
I just spent 100$ at a sex shop to make myself feel better. And I signed you up to win 200$ so if you win, it's mine. And yes I'm serious.
I walked in..crop dusted the whole place then asked her if she wanted to go to a place that smells better.
You were always a thinker
Only I could dislocate my ribcage coaching volleyball and still want to get drunk tonight.
My mom found me this morning passed out, face down on my dinning room floor
That must have been one awkward situation haha
Well I woke up in my bed.... I don't remember her finding me
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
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