those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
I want to touch your soul through your body...with my penis...
Mike i'm at church right now...
Just realized our kids will one day call us old because we were around when texting came about. I'm sad.
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
My worst case scenario tonight is that I fuck a hot Swiss girl. Let that give you perspective on my life at the moment.
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
Charles Darwin would shit his pants if he saw that we managed to survive that weekend.
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
I know how to make vodka btw in case you want to come over and do a science project
THAT HOSPITAL MADE ME REALIZE THAT I'M BISEXUAL
I stole $10 from the guy I hooked up with last night.Not sure why but it was definitely more satisfying.
Randomize
