Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
1. No more tequila 2. Why do you let me say slutty things? 3. I woke up and our apartment was covered in cake? 4. Love you
no one should ever give us hovercrafts
i was in the bathroom puking my brains out, a girl walked in and said "i just came to do the same thing" so i told her i would move over and share the toilet. its better than being alone.
Well my dea agent brother is visiting so I'm gonna get high and see if he notices
After a couple hours you decided you were going to walk home but ten minutes later you called and said you'd puked by the side of the road and you needed us to drive you to the art museum.
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
My car windows are covered in lube. Happy 4th of July!
you said you couldn't hang because you had to masturbate and feed your lizard
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
The bar brought brought it upon themselves, they played billy joels piano man before closing, it's not our fault the bar isn't a bar anymore, right?
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
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