My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
I was so hungover that I had to stop in the middle of the game and throw up. The fans cheered.
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
no more duck duck goose at the bar
He started screaming when he saw my dog. He thought it was a polar bear
My fall semester strategy is to submit my papers with a nude selfie
You've got post-grad studies written all over you
They're the one who can profit the most when given the opportunity for blackmail.
At least that's how I've always seen it whenever I've been the Designated Driver.
That simultaneously explains everything and makes me very very terrified of you.
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
My girl friends dad just asked how I get so drunk and then he passed out with a bloody Mary in his hand on the couch it's 230 do you know where your parents are
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
i woke up this morning from the best one night stand. i made the guy mickey mouse pancakes for breakfast and when i walked back into the bedroom he said "marry me"
Randomize
