What a fucking waste of an outfit
my dad wants uyo to call him right now...reverse drunk dialing
In honor of tonight, my penis will make an appearance
I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
I feel like our bond is deeper now that we're both sleeping with married men. now we're really bffls
you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
Front seat of an Escalade in a limo-service parking lot. That is all.
You went streaking and came back with your shirt inside out. Then said "it happens in the line of duty" and passed out.
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
High me just had to pick the lock on my sisters room because I locked my vodka in there. I love vacation.
On Friday, can we drink like its Civil Wars times and the doctor's coming to saw off our gangreen infected legs?
Our relationship needs a sober moment
I'll call you when that happens
My CPA just snapchatted me a picture of her playing beer pong at a picnic. Time to do my own taxes?
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