is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
i wanna give whoever invented massage chairs a blow job.
I just got hit on by my highschool french teacher. I need to stop going to this bar.
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
I may or may not already be in your hot tub when you get home. I have a key to your house and no shame.
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
Can we just agree for a moment that semen in your sinuses is the fucking worst?
It seems I've entered my 21st birthday the same way I entered this world: naked, crying and smothered in someone else's bodily fluids...
I left you a really long drunk voicemail and I remember something about a bat
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Randomize
