i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
I tried telling you she just blew me in the bathroom but you were too busy making out with her to listen
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
Woke up chewing my pillow from a dream where I was scarfing Cajun pasta from TGI Friday's. That's a new level of fat, even for us
New rule during sex: if it causes you to take your rings off, don't do it.
I think I was using my hair to catch my vomit last night.
You were.
You have to summon your inner elephant
When I tried to give you a hickey, you karate chopped me in the neck.
My black heart of coal cannot compete with your boiling crock pot of teddy bears, rainbows, 90s music, and the good candy you get from rich people on Halloween.
Lost my pants last night. Really need to stop taking shots of whiskey like I'm eating skittles.
May I make reservations with your penis for this evening?
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
Shame is for Republicans.
Randomize
