i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
The bar I'm at just passed out smores to everyone. I don't know what it has to do with cinco de mayo but I'm down.
Just found my toeprints on the glass of his sunroof.
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
I am solely responsible for the birth of their child. I mean, I did push them into the room and hold the door shut yelling "punch that kitty!". It has to be a sign.
Make sure your heart doesn't explode. These are words of wisdom.
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
It's either my own vomit or popcorn butter in my ear right now. Banking on the second one.
We made popcorn last night. So it's both
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
Oprah Winfrey is a jealous, vengeful god
You're going to hell! And you're going to hell! And you! And you. You're all going to hell!!!
I'm stuck in a tree and request your assistance ASAP
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
After my shift today I'm going on a bender. Not saying this so you'll stop me, just a heads up to invest in Tylenol, Gatorade, and Jack
Randomize
