My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
I drove 5 hours to see her. She thanked me by getting shitfaced, inviting her boyfriend over, and making me sleep on the couch after I cooked for them and did the dishes. You're right. I'm a fucking doormat.
Your roommate is pacing with a pen in his mouth flapping like a duck. That brownie got me fucked but not enough to understand this. Come back!
He does that
Congrats. You are not detrimental enough to my psyche to be discussed during this mornings therapy appointment. Please follow up next week to see if you made the cut.
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
You made me pull over because you thought a leaf was a twenty rolling across the road.
Dad says your scarf isnt fooling anyone and u look like a douchebag, its literally the perfect time to tell him your gay
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
the most terrified I've ever been was seeing Danny Devito squirming on the ground in this underwear, covered in hand sanitizer, completely hairless
I knew how high you were when you put a french fry in your mouth and said 'fuck, this tastes like meat but feels blue.'
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
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