You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
youve choked your chicken with your arm asleep and acted like it was some1 else right?
Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
Made out with some random "plus sized" young lady. She let me kiss her boobies. It was like I was 6 months old again.
Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
I'm done trying to be a vegetarian. My vagina smells like hummus.
Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
Just spent a extra 20 minutes on the phone with the lady from unemployment talking about how to make the best brownies.
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
I feel like I deserve an award for facing my fear of penises in my face.
He saved you from those guys at the club, took you home, and made you breakfast. If this isn't your come to Jesus moment IDK what is.
he can get married early and ruin his life but he sure as hell isn't ruining mine with a shitty bachelor party
Randomize
