Christians are straight up FREAKS
I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
be a good friend and just tell me i'm not pregnant
Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
There's a good chance a guy sucked off my right earring last night
So I got lost trying to find you guys and ended up proposing to a bride in a bachelorette party with a condom.
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
I'm closer to stabbing a fork in my neck than finishing this resume.
My night can be summed up in 3 words: Vodka. Threesomes. Hospital.
The attempted closet masturbation was unforgivable.
That was the most fucked up I've ever seen him. He had the fucking Canola Oil!
Why didn't you ever bring me to the pope as a baby so he could kiss me.
Kay so its 9 am whose dumbass is gunna act sober to buy pizza rolls
Dude you promised
Randomize