I just accidently deleted 60 gigs of porn from my external hard drive. Thats over 300 pornos! I think im gonna cry.
Im surprised that you are even able to text me right now.
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
I'm still finding big obvious chunks of condom around my car.
I'm on my fifth cocktail in twenty minutes. I don't think I will end this on two legs.
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
My boss just high fived me after finding out i made it through lunch rush rolling on molly. To think this guy used to terify me.
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
You don't marry someone you don't want to fuck senseless this is 2014 dammit
If you don't sing 'dust in the wind' at my funeral, I'll haunt you forever
I just bought a mini nerf gun so he could make a bowl out of it, I deserve the fuck buddy of the year award!
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
She’s 47 and wants me to fuck her on her mom’s hospital bed
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