She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
Now he's talking about how he's writing in a journal because he doesn't remember "his thought patterns when he was in elementary and that's distressing". I'm walking home. Fuck this.
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
He bought me a oreo ice cream cake with "thanks for not calling the cops!" written in icing. If that doesn't sum up winter break, I don't know what does.
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
She found my wedding ring, sallowed it and wished me good luck explaining it to my wife before walking out. Now what?
Repeat. Dildo on the ceiling, confiscated potato shooter, and bottle of yegger. Repeat. Ceiling dildo and yegger.
His mom already thought we were lesbians BODY SHOTS WERE JUST NOT AN OPTION SORRY
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
I am naked in a blanket sprawled on my bed eating a pastry. This is all I want out of life. Ever.
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
I wonder how long it will take her to realize that I peed in her night stand.
I asked what it takes to be a good delivery driver, my new boss said "always keep these in your vehicle" as he handed me a flashlight and a blunt. I'm going to like this job.
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