these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
Maury Povich's contact info is in our database at work...i should steal it right?
just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
You asked him to stand still, you put your leg on his shoulder, started dry humping the air
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
she called me a fuckfaceshitdick. not that's creative. it sounds like a crayola crayon, preferrably an orange-brown shade.
I was really sad when you left and cried. And i don't know what a face promise is, but apparently i made you make one.
I've had more sex in the two weeks since we broke up than I ever had in any two weeks we were together.
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
he was wearing a widestriped red gingham suit jacket with complete sincerity im not surprised she beat the shit out of him
We were on the beach when you spilled sand in the bottle and said "relax it's vodka, it'll disinfect itself"
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
Well, I ruined his toilet and he's still completely okay with me. Plus, it took him like a week to tell me.
If a girl I didn't love ruined my toilet I don't think I'd stick around.
i'm currently watching a guy eat a bunch of cacti and i have lost all faith in humanity
**cactuseses
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