don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
It was weird to see you drinking wine out a glass instead of a red cup today
She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
what is it with giant penises always finding me
i'm way too high for it to be safe that i just discovered i have a fire extinguisher
I just found the gloves and lightbulb I stole. Did you pee on a ATM inside a bank?
it says 'tasty bitch' in sharpie on my tits...
Get off me. I'm done. I want a cookie.
Hey by the way did you notice my third nipple in my snapchat
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
Having weed delivered to your door is like having your own personal Santa Claus
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
I'm smoking and watching the Muppets Treasure Island. Where are you?
Something about that statement reminds me just how much of a role model you are, sis.
yea so the plan to relive our college glory days was great and all but ending up in the er with alcohol poisoning was crossing the line
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
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