I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
Puked on a Tom Jones impersonator on the strip
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
this morning i checked my reflection in the toilet as i was throwing up to make sure i still had my pearl earrings on
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
Drunk you assumed that me saying I thought squirrels were cute meant for you to trap one in my car by luring it in with ham. You're going to hell for this.
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
He tried to break dance on the island in the kitchen and ended up knocking over everyone's alcohol onto the floor then yelled "GUCCI" before vomiting
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
I'd rather explain to the cops why I'm naked than why I'm drunk.
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
Dude on the shuttle bus eating a Butterfinger and watch porn on his phone and doesn’t give a fuck who knows
We need to get on his level
Did I tell you I drunk fucked my one roommate last week
Uh no
Randomize
