week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
Our cab driver just admitted to beating up kids in the 60's who didn't smoke pot...
I found her sitting in the shower having an argument with the dolphins on the shower curtain.
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
This is your morning news. Today at 5 pm I will be going out of town until the 29th. If you would like some great sex before I leave, please contact me. The available packages are: a house call, an outdoor excursion, or a delivery style in-car quickie. available only while supplies last.
It's okay. My lingerie drawer is skanky enough for the two of us. Even across borders.
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
Btw: some husbands are not impressed by me trying to snap photos of their wives camel toe.
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
And let me tell you, getting your ass waxed is the weirdest fucking experience.
Bad news man, we're gonna have to reschedule Golden Coral: The Musical
I don't know who the fuck this is, but right on man
I was giving this fat lawyer a table dance and he asked me if I would be willing to play with his long, hard stick of the law. And you want me to stop drinking at work?
When my parents ask, do you think "he was the cop I gave head to in order to get out of a speeding ticket" will suffice as to how we met?
Randomize
