Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
i just walked outside for a cigarette and three men walked by in glitter heels and gold shiny thongs. god i love chicago
i want to open my blinds to let the sunlight in my room, but i'm afraid my neighbors will be able to see me drinking and judge me
I was to drunk to drive all the way up there, so we just had rough phone sex instead
You claimed your dick was a divining rod, spun in a circle 3 times and walked into the bar you stopped in front of...consequently there was a bikini shoot going on
It's a given that you're going to get peed on at a country concert
Serious question: Should I volunteer to get tazered? My instincts say no but my wild side says yes.
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
My brother slept till 4, bought a sword, got drunk and sharpened said sword. I went to corporate compliance training. Life is not fair.
U can be a future sentaor's wife if you want. I'm happy with "closet lesbian", "tech prof".and "masters degree" all rolled into one. Drunken bar escapades pay off.
I managed to get through my meeting without throwing up in someone else's office, so there's that for an accomplishment today.
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
I AM BEING ACCOSTED BY A HUMMING BIRD
I AM IN MILD DISTRESS
Even his sexts are poetic. He said breasts instead of tits so I'm gonna lock this shit down asap
Randomize
