he bonged a 1/5 of jack and came back an hour later blacked out with a legitimate chicago firemans helmet
I had a terrible day! The only thing that makes me feel better is knowing Jack Bauers day was worse.
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
Or they can chase TEQUILA shots with it. I don't know why my phone capitalizes TEQUILA.
He said he wouldn't use a condom because he didn't want to kill anymore trees.
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
Woke up this morning buried in a mountain of chex mix and bubble wrap. We must have been doing something great last night
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
In other news I have discovered that grindr is the easiest way to get free meals
Whatever dude, just dont tell her your first impression was she looked like your cousin. no judgement here. just sayin.
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
Im in my back seat in my own drive way with two beers left to shotgun and watching the sunrise. Am I over her yet?
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
Randomize
