I swear to God, I saw my life flash between my legs.
these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
Its like im going on a blind date, but ive already had sex with her
Well.. considering he unknowingly dated a prostitute, I consider myself the winner in that break up.
I am sitting on the couch "eating" a frozen big bucket margarita with a spoon.
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
They should have to wear some identification that warns you to stay away. Like one of those cones dogs wear to keep them from biting stitches. CONE OF SHAME.
I didn't just randomly come up with it. But if you want to give me extra credit for creativity I have a bare chest and chocolate sauce left
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
Randomize
